My Short Love Story in Detail!!

If you believe in Love at First Sight, then Read On!

Life takes a U-turn at you sometimes. That’s what happened with me now. Full U turn!!

Date: November 2001
Place: Varanasi(UP)

I was taking kind of sunbath on roof of my house at the top floor in that cold winter. The flat next to me was empty for many months but I saw some activity in that flat that day. I got curious: Has someone occupied that floor??What if that flat is occupied by some beautiful girls!! All kinds of thoughts started to came in my mind and I wanted to see if any of my thoughts are getting materialized or not but there seemed to be a great mess with their stuff all around and no people to be seen around. I consoled my heart that none of my dreams is going to be materialized(based on my experience ) and hence went to my room to study “Rotational Motion” and “Stoichiometry” (those who are not familiar or have forgot these scary words need not worry, they just refer to a Physics and Chemistry lesson respectively).

Next day when I came home from school(Yes, I was in class 12 then),I went to the roof just to enjoy the weather as after a long time it seemed to be a pleasant weather. Again, out of curiosity, I went to the other side of the roof to see who has occupied that opposite flat. Gosh!!!....It was occupied by a family which contained one girl who was with me in the same coaching and batch.Ironically, we never talked in coaching and even outside. We saw each other and then I couldn’t say anything although I wanted to say “Hi….etc” but thanks to my shyness and fear from the girls that I didn’t even show any facial expression, let alone open my mouth. Yes, you read it right, I was afraid of girls!! Not because I viewed them as reincarnation of Goddess Durga or Kali but because I considered them to be the most responsible for ruining a young and innocent guy like me.I had seen many guys getting deviated from physics and math lessons to love lessons and then getting “appreciation“ from their parents and relatives for their “colossal performance” in Board exams and ultimately they were found cursing their “love” with a beer bottle in one hand which left them with no option; neither did they get their love nor their career.

Enough background work! So, due to that fear coupled with some dose of shyness, I could never say “Hi” or something like that to her. We used to see each other almost every day but I couldn’t even smile at her even once because of that fear and shyness which now had increased manifold.I could now see a question mark in her eyes. May be it was because I always behaved as if she is a stranger to me.

She seemed to remember me and recognize me; this can be said by looking at her beautiful eyes with which she used to see me often from her balcony. May be because I was very handsome (just trying to laugh at myself) or may be because I was very popular. Yes, you read right! I was very popular, not because of my wealth, friends or anything but because of the fact that I was very studious and hence used to get good marks, always making into top 2-3 students in coaching or school. So you can easily understand that how much pressure I had to perform and get good scores in Board and to get into IIT……phew!! So many expectations from me. It’s not that I was doing all this because of these expectations from me but I was also very ambitious and had desire to have excellence in everything I do. Ok enough brag on my acads, sorry to let you bored.


My 1st Talk with her:


Till this point you must be wondering what kind of person he is, always talking of being shy and getting fear, how timid and childish!! You are right, I was behaving childish and timid, but there was one occasion when I talked to her. It was morning time in the month of March 2002 when I was scanning my locality on my scooter to find if any cyber-café is open so that I could view my class 12 board results. After enough scan, I found out one and when I saw my result, I immediately rushed to the nearest temple to offer some sweets to Almighty GOD as this time too I scored good marks. It was then when I was returning from the temple when I saw her walking on road with her younger sister going somewhere. Our eyes met again and automatically speed of my scooter got reduced. I wanted to go to her and talk to her about her result. In fact, I wanted to talk about many things but at that occasion, I couldn’t think of any other topic to start the conversation. We kept on looking each other and it seemed as if we shared our marks through eyes only. Suddenly she said “Hi” to me and as soon as I heard those heavenly words I stopped. As predicted well, she asked my marks. After I said my marks, she said “Congratulations” and now it was my turn to ask her marks. Alas!!.....she had not yet seen her marks and was going for that only. The man inside me was shouting at me to offer her lift till the “farthest” cyber café. But unfortunately, as I said her sister was also with her who was continuously staring me as if I was a criminal or a local roadside Romeo, I just couldn’t offer her lift. Those 4-5 sentences that we spoke were the first and last talk between us. Yes, you read it right, and it was the last talk too. I kept cursing myself and her sister for many days for not being able to offer lift.

Life after School:


As I have already told that I was always focused on my career and wanted to join IIT, I started preparation for IIT after joining a prestigious coaching institute. I knew that this is going to be a very crucial time for my life as it could change my entire career path. So I was in no mood at all to play with this precious time of 1 year that I got for IIT preparation. Every evening I used to go to coaching classes and used to come only late at night. But my intensity for her grew strong along with my passion for IIT and the similar situation seemed on her side too as mere gaze had converted into solid stares now.I got even more shy and afraid.Whenever I used to go out on my cycle, there was one pair of eyes which used to stare me from top. By this time, it was clear that there is something going on between us, but thankfully this clarity was not visible to others. Everybody around me was expecting me to crack IIT-JEE entrance exam. By this time, it seemed to me that she has told about me to her sisters, friends and brother (younger) also as now she was always accompanied by someone during her stare sessions. I tried to focus on my studies and to some extent I was successful but I was not doing my best. Till that time, I was not desperate for her and I was thinking that this feeling is nothing but infatuation and will go off soon. I used to go to coaching at 4pm and come back at 9-9:30pm.I always found her on her balcony at these times accompanied by someone and after seeing her I used to speed up my cycle so as to get away from their stare range as soon as possible.
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Then one fine day, we had to leave that flat due to problems with our owner (the usual rent, water and electricity problem and all). My dad had arranged for one truck to carry our stuff to another flat which was about 6kms from there. Truck came to our door at 7am on Sunday. I was the in-charge of the loading process, you might have guessed well why. There was no activity in that balcony which disappointed me to a large extent. It was 9’o clock and till that time almost 75% of loading was done and there was no sign of her. Just after 9, I saw her in the balcony and I got elated with joy but didn’t show my happiness to her. I saw a question mark in her eyes as to “Is he going??If yes, where?” I wanted to answer these questions to her but then I had no time and opportunity as everyone from my family were around me and others were also looking from their balconies. Being Sunday, everyone was present at home and within 10minutes her sisters and brother also joined her in balcony. My heart was beating fast and my conscience was shouting at me loud to go to her and tell her “I am leaving this place and going to Nadesar.I will keep coming to you and be in touch. Don’t forget me. Take Care and Bye”

But I couldn’t do that because of the circumstances explained earlier. I was about to start moving when I saw her coming down from her flat!!! Gosh!!, I thought “Is she coming to talk to me??” In fact I was very excited at this thought but it didn’t turn out to be the reason. She was well dressed and was carrying a notebook and a book in her hand and passed just in front of me. I thought is she going to college (she had not dropped that year) or some coaching? But I didn’t know any college or coaching which was open at 9 in morning on Sunday. May be she was going to some friend’s home or may be something else was the reason. I started my scooter and the truck followed me. Down the road, I saw her going slowly with head facing down. Just as I reached her, I thought of applying break to my scooter and talk to her as nobody was there to watch us now. But unfortunately, a friend of my dad was there in that truck which was following and again I failed to talk to her. Life in new flat even got worse as her thoughts started coming to me often and I was unable to see that balcony. I sometimes went back to that colony only to see her but I could never see her in that balcony.

Life in College:


I couldn’t make to IITs. Partly because I had lost concentration in studies and partly there was some family tension in my home. But luckily I got in a top10 college in India. Once I joined college, I always dreamt of her and my family. I always used to see that she is watching me from her balcony and I am talking to her. She had started to come in my dreams too! One dream which I used to see often was that I am coming to college back from home after holidays are over and I am boarding that train at night. So without looking at fellow passengers, I went to sleep and when I woke up next morning (in dream) I found that she is there on my opposite berth sleeping well with a bed sheet on her. I used to have smile all day whenever I used to see that dream. During that time, I heard of something called “Orkut” which reunites old friends and various communities are there where one can find his/her school or college or colony etc. I joined Orkut and no prize for guessing whom did I search first. She was not there on Orkut or maybe she was there but with a different name .Her name was very common so whenever I used to search her I used to get hundreds of search results even though I was doing customized search i.e. 20<age>23,sex->female, place->India and etc. A special prize can be given to me for my patience as I used to browse through all the profiles with that pathetic net speed!!! One day while watching “Dil Chahta Hai” on my PC in hostel, I noticed that some of her features were common with Priety Zinta like her smile, eyes and nose. Complexion and height was also more or less same. I found her in Priety Zinta. I became a huge fan of PZ and my friends used to wonder why I am not a fan of Katrina Kaif or Mallika Sherawat. I watched all her movies and in all movies I saw her (my darling).I especially liked “Kal Ho Na Ho” which resembled like my real story.

Being an Engineering College there were not much pretty girls there but yes, they were there but numbered and there was a huge competition for them in guys. Even I liked many girls and wanted to spend some time with them but there was no one with whom I wanted to spend all my life as it was already decided who she is going to be. I started talking to one girl (Yes, I was not all a shy person as I was earlier. I could talk to any girl unless we were not in love).She was a very sweet girl and very smart. I stopped studying in college as I thought that anyhow I will get a decent job (courtesy to campus placements), so I was never among the toppers but somehow managed to be in the category of “Guys with Potential” category. She was a topper although. May be she had good mugging skills but she had good brain too. We started chatting on sms for long hours even till late at night. My friends used to tease us on this but I never bothered and neither did she. She had a boyfriend but she was not happy with him most of the time. Slowly we used to meet often and we used to sms each other till we had exhausted our daily quota of free sms.Till today, my college friends think of us as a pair but I never thought like that, In fact I liked her and started falling for her but she could not take that position in my heart which my Darling had. She once told me that she has been proposed 8times in her life right from school to college. I told her “mentally” that “I wish your 9th proposal comes from me but I have already proposed somebody long back and I am committed to her”. Meanwhile my search for her continued on Orkut, all in vein but I didn’t lose hope and I was sure that wherever she is, she will still be remembering me.


The U Turn!!:


Since my branch in engineering was CS, so I went to join a big IT company. By this time, I was not that crazy about her as I was in first two years in college. I had left everything upon destiny and time and I was cool with my life. Nice job in a Nice Company at Nice location. Everything was Nice.I was satisfied with my life till now and was trying for MBA now. I understood that I am not going to spend all my life doing this coding work and filling XL sheets. I made my mind to crack CAT and now my priority was CAT. My activity on Orkut had decreased drastically as I used to login once in a month or so. I had stopped searching her now as it was around 6years when we saw each other or rather stared each other!! One day I just went to a Cyber Café just to check some Gmail and Yahoomail (as both are blocked in my office).After I finished checking mails, I was left with another 10minutes for 1hour to be over. So I decided to spend next 10minutes on Orkut. I logged in and found some bogus scraps and messages. I ignored all scraps and messages and went to my favorite section; “Search” I typed her name and customized the search and hit “Search”. I was familiar with almost all the results which came out but this time there was one more name!!!! I checked that and it had a profile photo too which resembled like her face but I was not sure if this is her. But my conscience was telling me that it’s her. I could not see her scrapbook and photo album. So I send a “friend request” to her and send her a message telling who I am and asking if she is the same girl. By that time 10 minutes got over and I went home happily. That day I was very happy, I don’t know why. It was not clear by that time if she is the same girl but my heart was jumping with joy. I went to check Orkut again after some days and checked if she has approved my friend request or not. Guess what....She had accepted my friend request and now I had access to her photo album. When I saw her pics in her album, I couldn’t control my joy and started acting uncontrollably. She was the same girl, my sweetheart, my darling from a long time. Owner of the shop and others started looking at me in bewilderment as I was out of control. I immediately send her a message telling her to contact me on my mail-id as I have lots to tell her. For the next 1week I could not control my joy. Where ever I was, I was laughing and I was happy. I told this to a close friend of mine who knew the entire story and he also was very happy and we were eagerly waiting for her response now. No scraps from her and neither any message or mail for next few months. I was feeling desperate but I never flooded her scrapbook or mailbox. I thought maybe she thinks why to contact this guy who behaved so rudely with me in colony.CAT was approaching and it was very near. I thought let’s keep this thing out of my mind for some time till CAT is over and I will see to it after that. I waited for her response till CAT although I kept asking her about her whereabouts through scrap. I got reply too one day. She is working as a reporter in a prestigious news channel in Noida. I never regretted to work in South till that scrap but after that scrap I cursed myself and my company too that why I am posted in South and why not to Delhi or someplace closer to Noida. I didn’t get any other scrap from her after that .Probably she didn’t want to be in touch with me but I was sure that she can’t be so harsh on me as her feelings for me were very intense and its not easy for anyone to forget those feelings and person. I held my excitement and joy till CAT. After CAT was over (please don’t think what my performance in CAT was) I started to give momentum to our communication. After all, I have waited so long for her; I was not in mood to let her go easily. I increased my frequency to scrap her but with no reply. I was unable to think what’s in her mind. Has she forgotten me or is she angry with me and waiting for me to propose. I patiently waited for some more time and then my patience got over and one fine day, I wrote a long mail(1000 words length) describing my situation all these years and how I have spend every single moment without her. I send that mail to her Gmail id and scraped her to check her gmail.I was waiting for her reply for many days but no reply. But surprisingly one thing happened that she started replying to my scraps frequently. I could not understand this behavior but I was very happy anyways that at least she is replying to my scraps now. I had to go to Chennai once for official purposes. As soon as I checked into my hotel room and got freshed, I thought let’s check some mails. I opened my mailbox and among many junk mails there was one mail which grabbed my attention. No prizes for guessing, it was her mail. I immediately opened her mail and read it. Guess what was written????

“Hi...I read your mail and I was surprised. Not because of your feelings but you kept it hidden for so many years. If you would have told me before, I would have accepted but now I am engaged. Sorry is a very little word but has nothing to give you except that. You are a very good soul and you will definitely find your lady love. Take Care and all the best”

What the hell was that??She still loves me but she is engaged. I am late and that ruined all my dreams. I just couldn’t believe my eyes what I have read. I thought that I am dreaming but unfortunately it was not a dream. It was a fact, extremely bitter fact. I lied on my bed and felt like I have lost everything and that life has no meaning for me now. I was laying on bed staring ceiling for the next 3hours.All those dreams in which I used to talk to her, see her in train started coming to me again. I felt like weeping like a kid but didn’t do that. I was completely heartbroken. Next three days my heart was not at all in work and all the time I was thinking of her, if she is formally engaged or just committed. What if she is under some kind of moral obligation to get engaged just like Priety Zinta in DCH. What if she still wants to come back to me but is too shy to tell that to me. I am still trying to find answers to these questions and eagerly waiting for her response.

“Kahani abhi baki hai mere dost!!!!”

Still more to come………..Have Patience…Even I don’t know what’s there in future but I am still hopeful!!!